Your Questions About Gain Self Confidence

Linda asks…

How do you gain self-confidence in your appearance when you have already done so much?

How do you gain self-confidence in your appearance when you have already done so much to try to improve your appearance? (contacts, facial products to get rid of acne, a little make-up to hide spots, straighten hair). I don’t know what to else to do and I still feel inadequate sometimes.

J. Lynn answers:

I’m pretty sure that everyone feels this way at some stage in their life. There’s probably not alot that you can do except accept yourself for what you look like.

John asks…

How do guys gain self confidence?

Starting high school, I’m pretty sure everyone’s nervous especially me. I’m quiet and good looking (apparently…) but I have no selfconfidence. I don’t want to be like last year with being depressed and bullied by the kid that will end up in jail. Anyways, I have friends but I can’t seem to make new ones. I see other students becoming close to others but I can’t. What are good ways to gain self-confidence and self-esteem to become a better person?

I know that students will mature as they grow up but at my school, it’s pretty violent….and I want to gain confidence for the future such as jobs and university. Lastly, how long does the process take?

I already know about meditation but what are some other techniques?

J. Lynn answers:

If you have an interest or a talent, work on developing it. Put yourself in situations where you can use the abilities you have. Success is a real self-confidence builder and you will never regret working at improving your abilities in some area. If you are confident in one area, it will generalize.

Meditation is a great practise. Have you thought about more active techniques – some of the martial arts that have a more spiritual or meditative component?

Be glad that you have some friends. Maybe work on deepening those friendships, or extending them. The “friends of friends” can widen your social circle.

Also keep in mind that high school, for many people, is just a step along the way. People who have their best years during high school are often less happy in their lives as adults. Those who struggle a bit learn a lot along the way and sometimes don’t really come into their full potential until university and beyond.

Good luck!

Lizzie asks…

What are the techniques to gain self-confidence?

Pls help me how to gain self-confidence. Because I’m going to join a contest for journalism. And it is the first time that I’m going to join this kind of competition.

J. Lynn answers:

Hi

Self-confidence may seem like a far-off and unreachable goal, but it can actually be achievable with several small steps.

1. Work on your conversational skills

Improving your conversational skills can help you feel more comfortable and confident in any social situation which will lead to larger confidence overall. If you practice maintaining eye contact and being a good listener, you will also give off a more confident aura and you can enjoy the benefits of being treated as a confident person.

2. Set goals

As with anything you want to achieve, building confidence will be easier if you set specific goals. Whether you want to be confident enough to be president of an organization or simply give a presentation at the next department meeting, you can then create an action plan for achieving this goal.

3. Get involved

When you become involved in an organization, project or committee, the new experiences, improved skills and chances for leadership and personal development can help improve confidence. Think about joining a professional organization, signing up for a committee at work or volunteering your time at a worthwhile organization.

4. Use positive imagery and self-talk

The road to self-confidence is primarily a mental exercise. Visualizing yourself as a confident person is one way to create a confident mentality. Positive affirmations are another way of building confidence. Tell yourself that you are a confident person and don’t give negative thoughts room to grow.

5. Seek professional help

Motivational speakers make their living from helping people make the most of their lives, which often involves helping their listeners build confidence. If you can’t attend a seminar in person, many speakers also offer DVDs and CDs of their motivational performances. Numerous self-help books are also available that can lead you to helpful strategies for building confidence. Life coaches provide one-on-one help to assist customers in reaching their potential. If there are more deep-seated issues getting in the way of feeling confident, you may wish to look into counseling or psychiatric help. Depression and other illnesses can decimate your self-confidence, and simply thinking positive thoughts or attending a motivational talk aren’t enough to feel better.

6. Take small steps

Going along with the idea of setting goals, if you’re not feeling confident, you will be much more likely to achieve your desired level of confidence by taking small steps. Tell yourself that you will smile and shake hands with everyone you meet today or promise that you will offer your opinion on an issue at the next board meeting. This is much more likely to lead to success and start you on the path to confidence than jumping straight to a more daunting task like giving the keynote speech at a national conference.

7. Practice a confident attitude

You may have heard this sentiment expressed as, “fake it ’til you make it.” The truth is that you can gain confidence by acting like a confident person. Nobody needs to know that you’re cringing underneath your confident fa�ade. Eventually you’ll no longer need to pretend. The success you experience from acting confident and the confident habits you’ve developed will lead to true confidence.

8. Look for confident role models

Whether you turn to co-workers, friends, family members or celebrities for inspiration, finding confident role models can help you become more confident yourself. It’s best if the person if you have real-life contact with the person you’re looking to emulate, but you can still get an idea of a celebrity’s personality and confidence-building strategies through interviews and books.

9. Try new things

New experiences can give you confidence by helping you grow as a person. You don’t have to take up skydiving or anything drastic like that. Starting a new hobby or taking a class is more likely to help you develop lasting skills anyway.

10. Be happy with yourself

Having an essentially positive attitude toward yourself is key to gaining confidence. You must be happy with the person you are, from your personality to your appearance, before you can truly be confident.

Gaining confidence requires hard work and dedication but it doesn’t have to be impossible if you take it one step at a time.

Hope that helps?

Take care

Nancy asks…

What are some ways to gain self confidence?

What are some ways that people gain self confidence?

J. Lynn answers:

Self confidence/self esteem comes from within. You must stop thinking about what other people think of you. You must look at yourself, and be happy with the person you are. You are the only one who has to live with you, so you had better be sure that you like yourself. If you dont, or are having problems liking yourself, maybe you should seek out a psychologist for some help. It doesnt mean you are crazy, it simply means you may need some help learning how to love yourself.

Betty asks…

How do you gain self confidence?

My friends, and most guys say I am pretty I am 14, Also I tell myself and everyone else that I am not,..I dont have verry high self confidence my sister does…but I don’t. What should I do how could i gain my self confidence? I used to have self confidence up untill 8th grade but once I hit second half of 8th and 9th grade I lost it.

J. Lynn answers:

Ashley:

I don’t believe there is a pat answer to your question. Self-confidence is something that comes with time. There are some good suggestions listed here among your responses. However, I have a combined suggestion for you to try. In order to FEEL that you are confident of yourself, realize that you may not be able to do all the things you see or know that others do. You ARE special. You have talent in some area. You are good at something. Maybe you just haven’t found out what, yet. But once you realize your individuality, then believe in your individuality. The mirror is a good device for seeing yourself as others might see you. Look at yourself, well. See you in the reflection looking back and remember that you are a person with every right to live; same as the next person. Believe in you. I survived for more than 50 years before I began to believe in myself. I had allowed others to convince me I would amount to nothing and that I had no personal worth. It wasn’t true. It never was true. Don’t let anyone ever try to convince you it is. BELIEVE IN YOU, Ashley. God does.

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