Your Questions About Developing Self Confidence

Jenny asks…

What are the impediments to developing self-confidence?

J. Lynn answers:

Being given everything one needs. If you do not have to go and get the things you want you slowly become dependent, thus losing your self-confidence to get those things when they suddenly stop being handed to you.-blurey

Sandra asks…

Tell me some tips for developing self confidence?

Positive thinking,improvement of learning new skills

J. Lynn answers:

Listen to what your inner voice tells you that you need to do.

Seek out all the inspiration hou need to motivate yourself to get it done.

Do it.

Reap the benfits of the experience and watch your self esteem grow

Helen asks…

how can I develop strong self confidence?

I am guy and I want to develop self confidence,what are the ways to build it?

J. Lynn answers:

G

You can go with party psych-talk-guesses and fiddle around for years, or build genuine confidence by becoming a consistent winner.

Here’s how.

I had more factors against me than I even care to remember. Then, I attended a meeting of a group that teaches a self-directed winning strategy for FREE.

I started to try it and haven’t looked back.

Create Self-Directed Wins

How I established a winning track record

By Generalist

It was always difficult for me to gain confidence because of ethnic persecution and an unhappy family life. My friends would tend to betray me because the views I held were not enough like theirs. There was nothing in my background that taught me how to win Forming a track record of winning is a big part of a happy life. Yet, it's one thing to say that, and another to do it.

At a SGI-USA meeting, I found out that the method for doing that had all been summarized as Nam Myoho Renge Kyo by the monk Nichiren. He lived in 13th century Japan. Here is the, “just add hot water” version of his doctrine.

1-Events are always changing, yet, some pattern persist. That's Kyo. It also came to mean vibration, speech, teaching, sutra.

2-Causes produce effects. Sometimes this is not obvious because of time gaps between the cause and the appearance of effects. That's Renge.

3-Life is both physical and non-physical. That's Myoho.

4-I needed to organize my mind according to what's real in order to win. That's Nam.

I started to recite Nam Myoho Renge Kyo by myself and with SGI members. It took some time to discard my cynicism, even when I got phenomenal results in my life and felt completed. I later found that joining with others enhances the effectiveness and gets me a big source of potential friends.

Source(s):

My own experiences as a result of reciting the formula and working with friends for peace, culture and happiness

http://www.sgi.org

David asks…

Tips on developing self confidence? (different situation)?

hi

my problem…. is not low self-esteem of the physical appearance, i think that i have personality problems, like the ones when i think that im not acting right when im around people, like when im not talking with the perfect voice tone and the right posture …etc.

How to Trust/Believe in oneself?

thx

J. Lynn answers:

First, realize that you are okay as you are right now. That sounds kind of silly, I know, but it just happens to be true.

What you are doing is questioning your behavior as to whether or not you will fit into this or that group, whether you will be liked, accepted, feel that you belong, and respected.

Basically, what you need to do is convince yourself that you are okay, your expressions, feelings, way of talking and so on. It’s really true. Think about this: Those people you want to be respected by, most of them would not themselves fit in in a lot of groups. Move them to a group of ladies at a convalescent hospital to play cards, and they might feel quite out of place, quite self-conscious and uncomfortable. I’m citing an extreme example to make my point.

To work seriously on your thinking about yourself, get this book, read it and especially DO the written exercises. It can help you a lot but you have to be consistent and stick with it.

http://ping.fm/VUFKB

Another thing that can help you is that when you are with these people, and you decide you’d like to become friends with one of them, explore that person’s interests: “So you like movies. What kind? Seen any good ones lately?” In other words, instead of focusing on you and how you are doing (self-consciousness), focus on the other person, get her (or him) talking about her interests. With a little practice, this can work like magic.

Here’s another book:

http://ping.fm/rt1rH

But back to my first theme, the problem, really, is not that you are doing poorly (except for an occasional boo-boo, maybe) but that you’re worrying about it. You have a perfect right to be you. Period.

Steven asks…

Developing Self Confidence…help please!?

I just dont know. Maybe its not my nature or whatever it is, but I constantly find that I degrade myself in whatever I do or whatever I accomplish.

So, I am EIC of my school paper and to be honest I really do work hard for it, I’ve done a lot for it this year and started new projects for the paper, etc. etc. In fact, I intially found myself so involved with the paper that some of my grades began to drop..but for some reason I feel like my efforts have gone unnoticed. I am actually a “co-EIC” with another very very bright and talented person. However, he often “takes over” at meetings and is definitely more outspoken than I am and I know for a fact that it is not at all intentional. But, my advisor seems to take it otherwise. I feel as though the advisor finds the other EIC more capable than I. Idk…these thoughts keep bothering me and its hard to tell myself to speak up more and try be as overpowering as the other EIC, because that is simply not how I am.

Our production weeks are usually very “hardcore” and I often find myself leaving school with far lower self confidence than usual. Idk what to do or how to console myself or tell myself to stop worrying about this.

I really do love newspaper but I jsut dread situations where I feel inferior and believe that happens quite often. .

Sorry I guess this is a rant? IDK, has anyone ever felt like this before?

J. Lynn answers:

“Act” as if you had confidence.

I have done this my entire life and people have always thought I had much more confidence than I have ever really had. I am in reality a very insecure person BUT when I am too nervous to do something I take a deep breath and say to myself, “Okay, how would a really confident person act?” Then I go and do it pretending I am that very confident person.

I hope this helps!

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