There is a distinct difference between toddler vomiting and baby vomiting. Baby vomiting, despite the unpleasant connotations of the word "vomit" and the sour milk smell, can still be cute and smiled about.
The white streak of fatherhood most commonly spread in a distinct pattern starting from the top of the left shoulder blade doesn't create repulsed grimaces or bile-filled reflux as would Toddler vomit. Rather it draws knowing smiles and nudges from experienced parents who recognize the product of a father bringing forth wind from a recently fed baby.
Toddler Vomit is, in most regards, the same as Adult Vomit. It has a consistency that resembles a combination of solid food, fluid and some bodily fluid that aids digestion and it stinks, but it can be sprayed, burbled or dropped in a totally guilt-free manner.
To this end, the guilt of vomiting is something that only comes with age. Where a toddler vomits without compunction, adults always feel that their vomiting is a result of evil doing. Toddlers don't over-indulge in cheap wine and pizza, they don't buy the piece of fish that causes the food poisoning and they don't listen to Country-Punk music.
But, for this very reason, we should and do leap to our feet at the first tell-tale gurgle in a toddler's throat. Only months after almost being patted on the back for having a pale, smelly patch on it, a new dad, on the shore of a sea of Toddler Vomit, will be met with "What did you do to him?". Should he deflect the challenge, "What did you give him?" will follow. Listing the day's menu, leaving out the fizzy drink, lollies and doughnuts, will at least gain the assurance that, "I'm not cleaning it up!".
But, strangely, there will still be contentment in Dad in the knowledge that the comfortable smile on the child being carried from the scene means that, by the toddler vomiting, whatever was ailing her is now at his feet.
The white streak of fatherhood most commonly spread in a distinct pattern starting from the top of the left shoulder blade doesn't create repulsed grimaces or bile-filled reflux as would Toddler vomit. Rather it draws knowing smiles and nudges from experienced parents who recognize the product of a father bringing forth wind from a recently fed baby.
Toddler Vomit is, in most regards, the same as Adult Vomit. It has a consistency that resembles a combination of solid food, fluid and some bodily fluid that aids digestion and it stinks, but it can be sprayed, burbled or dropped in a totally guilt-free manner.
To this end, the guilt of vomiting is something that only comes with age. Where a toddler vomits without compunction, adults always feel that their vomiting is a result of evil doing. Toddlers don't over-indulge in cheap wine and pizza, they don't buy the piece of fish that causes the food poisoning and they don't listen to Country-Punk music.
But, for this very reason, we should and do leap to our feet at the first tell-tale gurgle in a toddler's throat. Only months after almost being patted on the back for having a pale, smelly patch on it, a new dad, on the shore of a sea of Toddler Vomit, will be met with "What did you do to him?". Should he deflect the challenge, "What did you give him?" will follow. Listing the day's menu, leaving out the fizzy drink, lollies and doughnuts, will at least gain the assurance that, "I'm not cleaning it up!".
But, strangely, there will still be contentment in Dad in the knowledge that the comfortable smile on the child being carried from the scene means that, by the toddler vomiting, whatever was ailing her is now at his feet.
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