Paul asks…
Why don’t I have self confidence?
When I was younger I had a great deal of confidence. Sometime in the last few years I seem to have lost it all.
I don’t speak up in class even though I know all the answers.
I don’t want to throw a birthday party for myself because I don’t want to bother people.
I was asked to submit something to the newspaper but didn’t because I didn’t think it was good enough.
I am paranoid and jealous with my boyfriend.
I have developed anxiety about tests.
I don’t think I can get into grad school.
I avoid interaction with people because I think they don’t like to be around me, and because of this I don’t make many friends.
These all seem like products of a low level of self confidence, but I have no idea what triggered it. I think that if I found that I might be able to fix it. Any ideas on what it could be or how I can improve my confidence? I realize that these things aren’t very logical, yet I still can’t stop them. I can’t even get myself to answer a question in class despite trying to force myself.
J. Lynn answers:
Trust me, something happened – it may just be a trivial thing but it will be there. Maybe you spoke up in class and someone lampooned you or you’ve been cast out of a group of friends or you suddenly developed bad skin or put on alot of weight or your parents got divorced. You will be trivialising it. It is probably coming up in your mind as you read my answer and you probably discounted it again. I think you need to know what it is so you can deal with it, then you will find your confidence return.
John asks…
Why have I developed depression low motivation and derealization? HELP?
Daily Symptoms:
Extremely low energy. I used to be peppy and always on the moved until about two years ago.
Lost my personality, now Im just serious most the time
Abnormally low motivation. Somewhat ties in with the low energy. For example, I will not study unless the materials I need are right in front of me. If they are across the room, I won’t study, even if it is the night before class. I used to be extremely studious and would stay up all night to ensure a high A on every test. (I even waited over 2 years to get help with this problem Im dealing with now… Its a loophole of negativity)
I think negatively about every outcome, even if it doesn’t relate to me. I used to be optimistic and would help others through there problems. Now I can’t even get through my own.
I don’t feel my emotions normally or like I used to. For example, when I get overwhelmed, I start to cry, then in the middle of crying, it feels like I am just going through the motion of crying, but I don’t feel sad, or anything at all for that matter. If I ever do feel emotion, it is usually subtle and lasts only a short while. I express emotions normal, however, I just don’t feel them.
My doctor diagnosed me with depression and anxiety disorder.
I feel light headed/weird in dim light fluorescent setting (school gym)
I feel like every emotion I express towards people is forced/fake (doesn’t come naturally), and often check with a friend to make sure my reactions are appropriate to the circumstance.
I second guess myself and feel like everyone else knows better than I do. I have extremely low self confidence.
I set goals often and barely ever achieve them. I used to be driven by my anxiety, but it seems that I have lots all my driving factors and I don’t try anymore.
Occasional/Severe Symptoms:
Loss of self identity
Short lasting, extreme feelings of anxiety
Suicidal thoughts
Urge to self-destruct life
Loss of hope about every part of my life
Confusion
Sleep over 15 hours per day (No, that is not the CAUSE of the other symptoms, it happened after the other symptoms)
Unable to focus/ concentrate
Loss of friends
I don’t know what official term(s) my symptoms would fall under, but I would sure love suggestions. I am hoping whatever I have is just a chemical imbalance because I don’t respond at all to counseling/ verbal motivation/help. Thank you for taking an interest in my problems.
Also, these problems started while I was 15. THe symptoms did not happen all of a sudden, they built over a period of time. There are times when the symptoms are out of control, and times when they are just so-so. I haven’t eperienced any traumatic events. I live a good life. I get along with everyone and have good friends.
J. Lynn answers:
I have a chemical imbalance, and I had some of the same symptoms as you (not that many, though, and not as severely), until I got treatment for it. I still have some symptoms, but it’s gotten a lot better. Try going to a natural doctor, the kind that prescribes supplements instead of medication. Medication just gives you the ability to function normally, but the supplements will help your body restore itself, and they DO make a difference.
My doctor made me do some saliva and urine samples and we sent them off to a lab. The results came in and she gave me a lot of vitamins and supplements and I felt a lot better after about a month.
You can also google “supplements that help with *insert name of your problem here*” if you’d like to do it yourself, but it’s easier (although more expensive) to go to a doctor.
Chris asks…
how does getting reprimanded for cheating in high school affect college admissions? Educated answers please.?
freshmen year i cheated on a Spanish test and was caught and written up. Sophomore year i was caught cheating on a math test and written up.
ive always taken the most challenging classes offered. I’m a great student and have good standardized test scores but i have very low self confidence. on class tests i always believe the person next to me knows something i don’t and that their answers are right.
how will this affect my college applications? what can i do to make these incidents less important to colleges. i plan on going to a University.
if i write about this and explain it in my admissions essay would that help? how would i go about writing that essay anyway?
any help appreciated. especially from those who’ve been in my situation and those related to colleges
thanks
J. Lynn answers:
Colleges only ask for your transcript, not your entire file, so being written up won’t reach them. However, your teachers may check your file before writing your recommendations, and multiple incidents of cheating could cause them to write about this and that would probably eliminate you from consideration at many colleges.
I’m not sure I would write about this in my essay – it could put attention on something they may not otherwise know about. Instead, I would be honest with my teachers. Assuming you have since developed confidence and no longer cheat, let them handle it as they see fit, and they can address the fact that you have changed. If you are still cheating, then college may not be appropriate for you yet.
Joseph asks…
do you think i might have a personality disorder?
I think i might have borderline disorder or avoidant disorder. im always sensitive, and im reluctant to be around people im shy and nervious around everyone and i exaggerate a lot, i don’t have alot of friends, i never go out of my house because im scared to. i think that everyone is watching me and thinking how stupid i look. i have low self confidence. if someone physically hurts me i don’t do anything i just walk away then cry, i would rather be alone than hurt bye someone. im scared to be abandoned. but on the other side i get angry at home for no reason i break things in my room out of rage. i screema and yell at my parents and my close friend i hurt them al the time out of my anger. im scared to be alone and i don’t want my parents to leave me i feel empty. i cant control anger with people close to me. ive hit my dog because i was so mad. i hate my self for hurting everyone, i have cutt my self a few times(i dont anymore). its either that im always angry, depressed ,scared, normal or happy. im never hyper or loud.i also might have Compulsive Hair Pulling, is it related to any of these disorders?
i took this self diagnose test for personality disorder test,
this is my results:
Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Very High
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Very High
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: Very High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High
URL of the test: http://ping.fm/1ymrQ
URL for more info: http://ping.fm/ekf68
i dont have any relation ships with peope, im to scared of rejection. i dont talk when im around people. it affects my best friend a litte but i usly keep things in around her i dont get mad at her as i do with my cose family members. but we dont talk alot she moved. it affect my parents alot, my mom just gave up on me becasue ive made her cry to many times, and my dad has major anger problems, so he deals with me, he verbaly abuses me and sometimes he hits me. but i know i deseve it from the way i treat them. when i brought up the personality disorder thing, my mom said that its all in my head and i have nothing rong with me. thank you for answering
J. Lynn answers:
Based on your symptoms, it does sound like you have Borderline Personality Disorder. Research has recently suggested that people with BPD also show symptoms of bipolar disorder in the rapid stages. Not only that but individuals with BPD also often show symptoms of other mood disorders such as anxiety and depression. If you asked a friend of an individual with BPD to describe their friend, most likely they would say the person have major mood swings.
You are definitely showing the common symptoms for BPD such as:
1. Identity disturbance-feeling angry with yourself
2. You go to great effort to avoid abandonment
3. Impulsive behavior (this is where the self-infliction of pain comes in).
4. Affective instability due to mood reaction. (irritability or anxiety lasting for several hours and can last up to several days.
5. Chronic feelings of emptiness
6. Innapropriately showing anger with a diffucult time controlling it.
The list goes on. Do you experience problems with you interpersonal relationships because of the way you act towards people around you. Any relationships with friends or your parents affected? That’s another sign.
I would advise going to see a psychiatrist. Hope this helps
Donna asks…
do i have a personality disorder?
sorry i know ive asked this before
do you think i might have a personality disorder?
Additional Details
I think i might have borderline disorder or avoidant disorder. im always sensitive, and im reluctant to be around people im shy and nervious around everyone and i exaggerate a lot, i don’t have alot of friends, i never go out of my house because im scared to. i think that everyone is watching me and thinking how stupid i look. i have low self confidence. if someone physically hurts me i don’t do anything i just walk away then cry, i would rather be alone than hurt bye someone. im scared to be abandoned. but on the other side i get angry at home for no reason i break things in my room out of rage. i screema and yell at my parents and my close friend i hurt them al the time out of my anger. im scared to be alone and i don’t want my parents to leave me i feel empty. i cant control anger with people close to me. ive hit my dog because i was so mad. i hate my self for hurting everyone, i have cutt my self a few times(i dont anymore). its either that im always angry, depressed ,scared, normal or happy. im never hyper or loud.i also might have Compulsive Hair Pulling, is it related to any of these disorders?
i took this self diagnose test for personality disorder test,
this is my results:
Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Very High
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Very High
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: Very High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High
URL of the test: http://ping.fm/SN455
URL for more info: http://ping.fm/K9gQ6
i dont have any relation ships with peope, im to scared of rejection. i dont talk when im around people. it affects my best friend a litte but i usly keep things in around her i dont get mad at her as i do with my cose family members. but we dont talk alot she moved. it affect my parents alot, my mom just gave up on me becasue ive made her cry to many times, and my dad has major anger problems, so he deals with me, he verbaly abuses me and sometimes he hits me. but i know i deseve it from the way i treat them. when i brought up the personality disorder thing, my mom said that its all in my head and i have nothing rong with me. thank you for answering
J. Lynn answers:
You are not crazy, but you do need help. See your family doctor and he or she can help you.
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